Ah-ah-ah-be-cookin

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-be,

Cookin-all-night-man-ah-be-cookin- all-day-straight-up,

Pimp-if-you-want-me-you-can-find-me-in-the kitchen!

(eh) I'm on it (eh), I'm on it (eh), I'm on it (eh), I'm on it (eh)

(eh) I'm on it (eh), I'm on it (eh), I'm on it (eh), I'm on it (eh)

Time and time again I gotta tell these nigga's and these hoe's,

I be in da kitchen cookin food that's just the way it goes,

Cuttin up da meat to eat with rice and some broccolli,

Washing dishes, seasonin, my belly won't stop grumblin,

Ah-ah-ah-be-cookin-food-tonight,

Straight-up-on-dat-food-tonight,

Ah-be-on-dat-straight-up-on-dat-ah-be-on-dat-food-tonight,

Ah-ah-ah-be-cookin-food-tonight,
Straight-up-on-dat-food-tonight,
Ah-be-on-dat-straight-up-on-dat-ah-be-on-dat-food-tonight,

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-be,
Cookin-all-night-man-ah-be-cookin-all-day-straight-up,
Pimp-if-you-want-me-you-can-find-me-in-the kitchen!

(eh) I'm on it (eh), I'm on it (eh), I'm on it (eh), I'm on it (eh)

(eh) I'm on it (eh), I'm on it (eh), I'm on it (eh), I'm on it (eh)

...not kidding, with my mom's finger smashed, she only has one hand she can use, so ah-ah-ah-be cookin. Straight up pimp!

Here's a picture of my mom's hand, haha...

Preparation

I've spent the ENTIRE day researching interview questions, reading posts on working at Gap, and researching products sold by the company, all in preparation for my employment at the Yorkdale location. I'm 94% positive that I will get the job, seeing as I fit the part, have relevant experience, communicate very well, and have probably researched more than my fellow candidates. I'm horribly excited for my position, and I plan on acing my interview. Seriously, I always do really well at all my interviews (except for my Old Navy interviews, lol after all my research I realized where I fucked up, we'll talk about it at a later date), but this interview will be THE BEST ever. I'm seriously really psyched.

p.s. Thank you Mother and Father God for always giving me what I ask for. I now realize that it all comes when I'm ready for it, or in other words, not dwelling in the past but being ready for the future.

Jackson Tribute

Jackson Tirbute as promised, however it's not an original. I found this on youtube and really liked it. Enjoy.

Gap Goes Crazy

I sincerely hope this happens during my stay with GAP.

Diiiivaaa/Jackson 4 now?

"Ah-ah-amma-a-Diva-ah-ah-amma-a-Dylan..." haha, thanks Trish. We'll be singing this line when we go to Imperial Pub tomorrow night.

On a sad note, the legend that is Michael Jackson (of whose name I've always thought was spelled Micheal) has passed today at 12:12pm.

I plan on making a video tribute to his musical genius, that way we may all enjoy what was and what always will be, the greatness of the king of pop. YOUR NAME AND YOUR MEMORY WILL LIVE ON!

Happy Belated Father's Day

I'm an avid fan of Demi Lovato's talent(s), and have always thought of her as being a wonderful role model to young girls and aspiring musical artists.

And after reading this quote I found on Perez, I have a great deal more respect for her than I ever did. It's difficult to find words sometimes to explain why things happen, but she articulates it nicely:

"You try to have faith in somebody, even when you're the last person that believes in him," Lovato explained. "But When someone lets you down after you've been the only one there for them, and so many times, you don't know what to do… I had to cut off all connection. It was hurting me too much."

Thank you to my mom, who even when my dad was around, was always a father to me. It's the masculinity thing she's always had (you know, the Tomboy thing?). Thank you to all the mothers who did what they had to do to make sure their kids had the best life possible. And thank you to Wonder Woman, for making strong, independent women sexy.

Keeping It Short

Went to sleep at 5:30am after a lot of tears and a very long conversation.
Woke up at 3:30pm and had a bunch of crap to do on the computer.
It is now approaching 3:40am, and I'm ready to go to bed.
Unfortunately, I'm a little too tired to write a blog, since I have to write about my eventful weekend camping with FCAR and other things, which will be two separate blogs.
That being said, Look for me in the "pm", cuz that's when I'll be writing you!

See you loveee.

Caaammppiiiiingg... !

Wtf man!

It's not like we're going to Montreal! It's not a 9 hour drive, it's a 3 hour drive! Geez...

Sooo stupid... just keep driving! Everyone just wants an excuse to spend money on stupid food and join tables together! Well, I won't be at those tables, so now it's shorter! lol.

Camping is tomorrow, I'm excited, and nervous as usual. I do believe everything will be great. I've always loved going up north. The mosquitoes are huge, but none the less, always a great time I have up in and near Perry Sound. I'll be back on Sunday with pictures, so don't miss me too much!


love, Kemsaa

Feel free to slap my other cheek.

Chubb treats me like a retard that shouldn't ridicule him in any way, my mom treats me like a little child with no opinion that thinks that everything should be my way, Baldy forgot he had a sister (that he VIOLATED lmao, shouldn't he try and make it up to me forever or something? I think he thinks I forgot ... nooo waayyy broo), Emma doesn't bring Xander around anymore ...

My point is that I'm not being paid the respect that I'm due in my family. I do a lot of shit in my home, and for my family, and I only expect to be listened to without being called stupid, being told to shut up, being yelled at, or be ignored. I do too fricking much to be slapped in the face aaaallll theee ttiiiimmeee.

If my mom weren't being menopausal/bitchy and Chubb weren't being a fucking asshole, my life would be better, but I can't have a civil conversation with my mother without her telling me that everything has to be my way, and I can't tell Chubb anything at all without him acting like a fucking 3 year old. If I didn't work so hard the last two years, what the fuck would they be eating right now? Uhhh, NOTHING probably. And I BURNED MY FINGER TODAY making YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND food, you cunt.

I try very hard to remember that I'm not getting raped everyday, or eating once every 2 days, or wondering whether my house is gonna be bombed tonight; there are worst situations. Once I have a job I won't be thinking about any of this, but when the fuck is that going to happen. Like, Universe! I actually neeeeed a jooob ... I'm not like these fuckers who plan to shop with their money, or save up to buy some really pretty guitar I don't need (no offense). I need to pay my school!!! I have to help with my home!!! Like, I owe money mart lmmaaoo ... I only ask that I work somewhere that will garner growth (a.k.a not McDonald's)!!

Why won't you let me have this???

Twilight Pattern!

It wasn't until I began listening to Michael Jackson's single, "Break of Dawn", that I realized the obvious pattern between the titles of the books in the Twilight series ... they all correspond to natural science?

As in they relate to the cycles of the sun/moon; Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn, and finally, Midnight Sun (which will probably be out by next year). Interesting, eh?

Am I dense or am I observant? (haha)

Employment Issues

Are we only able to get to the places we want to be in life with assistance? Can nothing be done on our own? Or is my resume not good enough?

(You can't read it below, but they rejected me, AGAIN)

I just don't understand...

I'm So CONFUSED!!!

I'm trying to figure this academic stuff out, but it's so confusing!

I have to book academic advising, but before I do that I need my psych proff to get back to me again. It's so frustrating, and I'm so impatient! I need to know what the fuck I'm doing lol.
I have a feeling I might change my psych majour to something else, and just take psych courses as liberals. My brain is totally screwing with me right now. Seriously. A trip to Indigo is well endowed; to renew my soul. Camping should renew my body, and studying for my psych exam should renew my mind.

I'm very, very frustrated right now. I need to eat something cold.

Mission: Failed.

Oh God. We just found out that we actually failed one class.
Legitimately failed that class. All because I didn't hand in one assignment (that I thought was worth nothing). Either way, I couldn't do much about since the time had passed for it.

Problem is that it's my NATS, so that means an extra year of summer school so I can finish on time. However, that also means I'll be doing NATS again. I'll probably end up doing the same course too, seeing as I have already have the Life Beyond Earth Manual.

I just need to make sure that my psych mark is good when I do my exam. I'm sure it will be, I only need a 50 to get a C+ anyway, and obviously I'll get more than that.
In fact, I'm going to start studying again after I write this, so I can get my best mark.

I think I'm going to go on campus, to ensure the success of my courses.
My home life is very unpredictable, and I can't have bullshit going on around me. There were many times I couldn't even go to school. Like weeks! So, a lot of this is in part to tha stuff too, but overall it's my fault. But at least I'm learning from it. It tends to be my life story with academics; If I'm not already doing well, I always fuck up, realize I fucked up, and then work really hard to get to where I should be. It's annoying, but I make my bed. I'd be fibbing if I said that I didn't like to see my marks go from 'booo' to 'yaay'. I also have a feeling that I'm going to be fine.

It's easy to get distracted from your path, but when you find the trail again, the only obstacle stopping you from getting to the end on time is your walking pace. I've digressed of my path for a while now, so I've gotta speed up my pace!

Ghetto Tent.

What the fuck did Patricia and I buy?

... next time, I'm going to ask lot's of questions and ACTUALLY LOOK AT THE ITEM.







Take this for example: I thought I bought a tent, but I bought a clown house! ... I feel like if I go inside I'll be lost in some 'Alice in Wonderland' world.


And the odour ... I feel like I'm in a jungle.

Hopefuly trish and I can either get a refund in exchange for his tent back form the guy we bought it from, or we can sell this piece of jun - I mean baby for $20 (*fingers crossed*). We'll even throw in a can of lisol!

I'll flash you even? lol I swear to you, I don't even want to touch it. I hate the thing, I really do.

Lack of Sleep & a Crave

I've been having some sleeping problems lately.
My biological clock (and I don't mean menopause) is kind of wayward right now. I keep going to sleep around 4am and then wake up around 12:30-1:30pm.
I don't have insomnia, because I still sleep a good amount of hours, but it's really difficult getting to bed before 2am nowadays.
Also, it would be nice to have a warm body aligned against mine...
On the other hand, my body hurts slightly from the wonderful yoga I did the day before yesterday and my crazy ass long bike ride from yesterday. I only say that because his desire for things and my hastiness might cause me more pain physically ... but I'm a bit of a masochist, so that would be good.

Velvet Cupcakes ... Paula Deen style!

Blagamaha!

Trish and I made THE BEST red (and blue and purple) velvet cupcakes today.

I'm not gonna lie, it was a little rough at first figuring out what we were going to do, but once we showed Trish that a spoon worked better as a mixer than a fork, we made some progress to what ended up being a set of fabulous cupcakes.


They were awsome bossom, thanks to my mixerrr. Now I'm so in the mood to make pastry. And the icing, just delish. I decorated 5 pretty cupcakes, one of which is called Gummy Bear Heaven and Willi Wonka Land. One of Trish's cupcakes is called Joe (hahaha...). You'll know why when you see the picture.



I think we'll be making red velvet cupcakes for my wedding... definitely for my WICKED JULY BEACH BIRTHDAY PARTYYYY!!!!! lmao.

But as I said before, none of this could have been accomplised without my wonderful mixer. And because "she" was so good today, I've made a tribute video in "her" honour!

Ah-ah-ah be on dat Kryptonite

I believe in justice, and I believe that universal justice is karma. I believe we create our karma through attraction and intension, and I believe that if we visual for good things we can attract people and situations that may aid us in fulfilling our intentions.

If there are those who feel they can steal my bike and I won't do anything about it, then they are soooo wrong, because karma will get them! I don't want karma to get them, because I care about them, but I can't keep putting my stuff on lockdown because other people might take them. It's SO annoying. But sometimes, you just have to purchase your kryptonite lock so that you can lock your bike, so that others won't take them.

I feel like this boy will be the end of me! To hell I'm letting that happen. I'm getting my kryptonite lock (which supposedly cannot be broken, which I'm not sure is true, seeing that this guys girlfriend's bike got stolen with her kryptonite lock attatched).

Mash Potatoes.

I tell ya, there's nothing like mash potatoes to fill up an empty soul (haha).

And as I was mashing these potatoes, I said to myself, "why are you thinking so negatively have the time, you used to be the most positive person I knew". Then I realized, no one can make you feel bad but yourself.

Someone can point a finger at you in the middle of a huge party with everyone watching and say that you slept with their boyfriend, and yes, the situation will make you melancholy, but at the end of the day, you have the choice to stay sad or move on with life, because you know you didn't sleep with her boyfriend ... it was that bitch of a sister who lied and said that her name was Zelda! Referencing to the CW's 90210.

Anyway, no more negative thoughts about people and places. They're so annoying, and there are so many other worst things happening in the world that deserve my focus, attention, and action. What happened to the days I used to volunteer with Amnesty International? It felt so good helping people in need. Sitting and crying over someone that doesn't like me/doesn't know me is so bogus. I'm stronger than that. Kae Kae taught me better than that! lmao.

So I will go to yoga tomorrow, work out those muscles, and move onnn. Hopefully I won't have any more disturbing dreams. I'm afraid to sleep at night! lol I'm serious!

Last One for the Night

All this mother talk has got me thinking ...

When I'm a mother, I know I'll be amazing. You know why?
Because I won't just love my children, I'll care for my children. A day will not pass without me maximizing my efforts to care for my children. And let me tell you something, if you think I go out of my way now, wait until I have children. I'll be sending cookies every two weeks for the kids in their classes lol.

Seriously though, my children will NEVER wonder whether I love them. Ever.
My children should never have to question it, because I never had to. They will receive so much love from me, that they'll all end up in positive, long-lasting, and most importantly, healthy relationships.

And if any of them are gay, that will make me love them more, because they are my children, and I will love them even if they had the worst disease on Earth. Even if they were the ugliest person on Earth, they would be the most beautiful and most precious soul to me. I feel the love for my unborn children already, hahaha ... that's weird. This is why I'm going to have many children (either made or adopted), because as many people deserve to be loved in the world as possible, and I want to love all of them!

p.s. I thank God every day for my mother. I love her so much. I swear, I would give her the world if I possessed it.

The Secret.

Oh my gosh ... oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh.

I got the job at H&M. I fucking got the job a H&M!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life is THIS much better.

But no, it does not stop there.

My struggles with CERTAIN PEOPLE, ALL OVER. Feedback, POSITIVE. No more stress, no more drama, no moh problems! Just happy, happy, happy times foreevvveeerrrr. LOL that's weird, but I'm happy, which makes it not weird.

And it doesn't stop there ... I'M GETTING TO DO MY PSYCH EXAM!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tank de laud!

Life is SO good right now.

Witness the magic that is, The Secret.

1 Year Anniversary!!

Yay!!

Whip out the scotch - oh wait, on second thought don't, someone might see and label me!

That's okay, I give standing to anyone who may label me as such because: (1) they don't know me, and (2) I gave them a wasted first impression, and even though I didn't yell any profanities, nor did I do anything sexually suggestive, I was still wasted.

Yes, it's the first anniversary of of the biggest mistakes of my life. I feel like I killed someone. This is something I will never let go of. It's on the list after my problems with that fat-ass - yes! Right after! ... but in all seriousness, even though I'm sure people have done worst, my mistake will never be let over. Compare it to a job: no matter what you do, that first time you were scheduled to come in for work, you were 2 hours late, leaving only one person to run the store! The company will always remember you fucked up in the beginning, but if you work hard, extra hard, you won't carry a horrible reputation with you. In fact, the only way to get out of that horrible reputation is to keep your loyalties to the company for several years without making that same mistake again.

For me, the company is family, who ehat me (not a spelling error, and YES, I'm over-eggaerating), and now that I've made claims to do things (make a cheese cake) I'm a horrible, horrible person. It's like, why don't you just through out everything I give you? It's not like you want it? Anyway, off topic. Um, all I can do is live life right? It's not like I'm like that normally, so I don't have to try extra hard to be good. I am very good, normally! Fuck. Every year around this time, or better yet, anytime I'm going to the house or see any of the family members, I'm always reminded of my mistake, and that I'm some horrible person for making that one mistake. YES, I'M EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW, haha.

Anyway, let's hope I can get over this. That's gonna happen when I get the chance to tell them I'm not like that and they can give me positive feedback, but that's not gonna happen, which means that I'm never going to get over this lol.

I think I'm going to pray for this to get better. And for me to get over the fat-ass-bitch stuff. God always makes things better. Fuck, I wanted to go to church today!

Must I Always Cry?

Holy breadsticks meng! Everytime I'm upset now, my eyes well up like Lake Ontario.
And not for everything, only anything concerning something sad on one of the CW shows, when there is unfairness with regards to my mom's judgement, or when Mvb is acting like an ass. Things like, my professor saying that we only have 5 minutes to do the rest of our exam and things like that don't make me cry.

Someone make me laugh...

A picture that never ceases to humour me. Ever.

It's baby Xandeler looking like he wasn't ready for that shot (LMAO <3).

I'm so stupido, I totally forgot that you could add pictures to your blogs on here too. And so now every blog will have a picture. Yeaaahh... this counts as my first photosensitive blog.

Say It Aint So!

Honestly, I don't want to be angry, because I'm not. It just feels like he's forgetting I'm here.
And then sometimes I don't know why I think like that, because I still talk to him like every other day to every other two days.
Plus it ends up being an hour long dicussion on average.
I mean, he has a life too. And he calls me too, so maybe I'm just being retarded.
It just kind of feels like he's gradually pulling away, and he'll eventually just be another associate, and I dread that. I need some confirmation or something. That this isn't going to push me into the mud later. Every since the beach day he's been drifting. I can feel it.
And it's not one of those friendly drifts where you know that you guys are just taking a regular break from each other like best friends do and coming back together a litle later. This kind of break feels like a drifting and then forgetting.
God I hope it's not like that. I honestly think I'm thinking too much. But it's like, I haven't seen him in the longest time it feels like, and now that he's getting his teeth out on Friday, I won't even see him then! Saturday doesn't count by the way. I hardly touched him.
When I start working I'll get over this, haha.

Chillin, Local.

Spent the entire day with a good friend of mine.
Talk to old friends I hadn't talked to for a while.
Fixing my bike.
Chiiillliiiinn.
Planning my awsome birthday party.
Got a call back from the psych office!
Went to Yoga (kind of).
Emptied my bowels.
Making cheese cake tomorrow.
Riding my bike AND going to Yoga tomorrow.
Chiiiillliiiiinn.

I've got a bunch of wicked idea's for my birthday. I'm so excited. It's going to be July 30th/31st (because one day isn't enough to celebrate my birthday OBVIOUSLY; Consisting of the beach on the 39th and Shuffle on the 31st! AND THEN A HOTEL! I know, awwwsoommmee.

Trish is pressuring me to tell everyone coming to bring a present, but I'll feel bad lol. "Oh and bring a present, nothing extravagent, just something small" ... that's kind of mean to me, haha.
I'm going to have the Dora pinata, and contests with prizes, and volleyball, and SUPER SOAKER WATER FIGHT (maaaayybbee), and balloons of course.

Trish was like, "invite the Yoga Guy - the GUEST of honor" LMAO.

I'm excited for yoga tomorrow, I wish I could have made it today. All that walking, and getting the mat's, and doing the camel stretch to miss how good he looked today... whyyyy?? Damn you numerous intestines!

New Moon

"Anticipation is making me wait," and I don't know how much patience can hold me back for this!

New Moon is going to be fantasico. Seriously. I just saw the trailer and I'm flipping out in my brain. It's EXACTLY like how I pictured it was in the book. And Taylor Lautner is looking SO fine in this one. Ohhh man... ohhhh maaannn...

Damn right I want a piece! Fuck it, I want the whole pie!!

I'm buying my tickets in advance - or maybe I should say "ticket", since I saw Twilight BY MYSELF last year lol. I enjoyed it for the most part anywayz... hopefully someone will come with me this year, but I don't mind. It didn't stop me from laughing at the funny parts/jumping at the scary parts/tearing up for the sad parts (which I didn't do - that's strictly for CW shows, yo).

On another note: I was looking forward to a call after a bad day, buuut we don't always get what we want in life right?

My mind boggled with explanations and plausible reasons things didn't go the way I wanted them to, but now I'm tired of thinking of the possibilities. Just gonna take things for what they are, and do my best to get my credit. As soon as I fix my bike, I'll be outta this joint!

My Exam was at 12 Noon

It turns out my exam was at 12 noon.

I forgot my exam was at 12 noon.

I went to the school for 2pm thinking I was an hour and a half ealry, when my exam was at 12 noon.

I walked into the gym seeing a lot less people than there was supposed to be, and after getting some help from one of the information desk people, I found out my exam was not at 3:30pm, but at 12 noon.

My fucking exam was at 12 noon.

I emailed my prof, but he's not going to read his email until later, and there is another Intro to psych exam tomorrow, but I'm not in that class, so I don't know what will happen. I also called and left a message in the main office. I'm hoping someone will get back to me on re-making of this exam, because if I end up not being able to do this exam ... I'm switching to archaeology. Or, well I don't know yet, but let's just hope he gets back to me.

Plus is that I don't have depression yet, so I can look on the bright side: I have mroe time to study.

Beginning of the End

And THANK GOD, because this school year has been way overdue.

I'm 45 minutes away from my last exam - psych, and about 10 minutes away from buying my June metropass - which I kind of don't want to do.

Good thing is that if I buy it today, and don't think I want it tomorrow, I can sell it on craigslist for like $100, which will be $6 more than I got it for. Better than nothing?

I'm excited and slightly nervous for my exam, but I know I'll still pass with a 50, AND I'll still be able to use it as a pre-req for next years psych courses, INCLUDING STATS which I'm not happy about.

Anywho, I'm off to shit myself (haha). I feel slightly gas-y. The upside to doing my exams at Tait Mackenzie is that the gym makes a lot of noise, so even if I "passed wind", no one would hear!