Mad World

I don’t know why I fear so much. There’s so much that happens in the world that makes you want to escape. Fortunately for me, I live in Canada, specifically, Toronto; a place where diversity is a mainstay and is more or less accepted.

Growing up in this diversity becomes sort of like a shell for me. The places I’ve been in the world (including parts of Canada) have been somewhat like this city I live in, and so I automatically assume that everywhere is like this, because realistically, it’s all I’ve ever known.

And when I hear of the violence against women in Congo, the civil disputes between Hindu’s and Muslim’s in the Middle East, the governmental wrong doings in northern Asia, and the acts of hate that still go on in the States, I think to myself, where do I escape? How do I escape? Do I turn a blind eye and pretend like it didn’t happen? Do I occupy myself with artificial placebos?

But the reality is that there is no escape. At the end of the day before I go to bed, on my hour and a half train ride back home from York, walking to Bourbon from work to get food on my break, I’m always thinking. And what I’m thinking about always is injustice. And it’s not fair. It’s not FAIR. Everything that happens to people in this world that was once so beautiful, it’s tragic. As of late, I’ve been preoccupied in my own fears, which have been driving me crazy, and it was only a mere few words that Mvb said to me yesterday that drove me somewhat off the edge to the realization that I’ve been thinking too much. Too much about one topic, when there’s so many more to think about. But I can’t think about all of them at the same time. And the way I’m thinking, it’s too negative, too fearful. I need to think more positively, and more hopeful, or else I’ll destroy myself from my own thought.

In this crazy world, all you have is love. Love is happiness. I have love, and I am happy, but my children... I need a better world for them. I need to try to make this a better world, for them. Xander... I need this to be a better world for him. My family, my friends, all of my loved ones and their loved ones whom I care about, I want this world to be better for them, because I worry too much.

All I can do is what I can, and I only pray that things will get better. And I know they are.

Love Affair... With Bourbon Chicken.

Alas, a love affair has begun between myself and Bourbon Chicken...

The courting process took about a year and a half or so, but sooner or later the running has to stop. And I have stopped, and now I'm in love.

I knew the very minute I tasted that wonderful Lousiana chicken. Ohhhh mannn.

And while this affair may be short lived in length, If I died tomorrow, I could say with a doubt, the loving was gooooood.

- I <3 Bourbon.

Age; More than JUST number.

Age is not just a number.

Age is wisdom. Age is the number that represents the number of years you've been on this earth.

It represents the amount of experiences you've had in the last 20 years of your life.

Imagine you took out a year in your age. A whole number out of your own age. It wouldn't be a number your taking out, it would be a year of experiences you're disregarding completely.
Can you imagine taking out your 18th year of life from your age? That year I learned determination! I learned how to do a bunch of things. I experienced a great deal in that age. So to say it's just a number is ignorance in it's purest form.

The concept of age is created by experience.
This concept is what builds wisdom.

And while some might say that one may experience a great deal of events at a young age, and become mature for their age, this does not justify the level of wisdom one obtains, they're just exposed to reality sooner.

Remember that the person who came up with "age ain't nothin' but a number" was either a perverted douche bag or a girl looking for her father.

Please remember the next time you decide to date an 18 yeard old.
Age is more than just a number.

I've Got the Powah!

I've noticed that as of late, I've tuned into the channel of my body indefinitely more than I ever have before!

As in, I notice all of the sudden changes ... everywhere. I can feel everything, how it's affecting me. I can feel the chemicals in alcohol running through my bloodstream, the subtilties of caffiene in my system... It's so, odd.

Especially because for the most part, I feel the change when it hits the nerves in my bicep/tricep area. Almost as if that's where everything is confirmed. Like, "ok, she's high, let's get the confirmed feeling to her through the last set of nerves on her upper arm".
Does that make sense? And the feeling is somewhat of a bloodrush in that area. I just feel it and know I'm different.

In other words, I feel as though I can feel the liquid streaming through my veins. or at least the rippling effects on my nerves. I've got the power to realize all of the minute changes in my body, and that feels goooood.

No COMPROMISING

NO ONE can COMPROMISE.

NO ONE.

Every time I try to accomodate everyone, it doesn't work, because it's always YOUR WAY or NO WAY.

It's not fair that I have to keep feeling messed up every time I try to accommodate myself to everyone's schedules and needs, while EVERYONE gets to throw in my face that THEY deserve my time more than the other.
WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF?!?!?

Pharoah the MYSTIC!

This guy, Pharoah the Mystic, did this weird magician thing on me at Dundas Square the other night while the Curry Crew and I were downtown.
He did stuff to my brother, Chubb, and Chub told me to go see if he would do something to me. I searched him on Youtube with my brother and watched a bunch of stuff he did.
When we saw him, of course he picked ME out of the great number of women present to do some trick with lol. Audrey recorded it with my cam cam. It was fun.
I gave him a donation, but he probably just ate food with it lol. It was only $1.50 anyway :p

It's a Hard Rock Life.

LOL, where are Audrey's toes!!!

The day started out rather simple. Being my second drinking day (out of 5), I planned to make a trip to LCBO with Jessica, on the way home after an evening stroll in Taylor Creek Park... that's not how it turned out.

Jess calls me on my newly reactivated cellular (!!!) and says to me, "Audrey wants to know if we want to crash some Ryerson Frosh thing happening at Hard Rock Cafe?" ... I'm thinking it's some sort of dinner, so I suggest that Jess and I meet up, buy some alcohol and drinka bit on the way for social purposes. However, LCBO closes at 9pm, and it's 8:47pm. Jess and I try to meet, but she's late anyway, so we go stright downtown, there's a chance LCBO downtown closes at 10pm, which to our surprise (Jess even jumps in excitement/relief), it does!

We're deciding what to buy, and after some advice on what to get from the security working, we get what we we're originally going to get, a 63% rum called "Rey & Nephew". I tell Audrey and Jessica that this kind of alcohol isn't for the faint hearted. You don't want to take cute sips and enjoy the taste, it's not THAT kind of alcohol... you want to shot that hit down and get your chaser ready bro, haha. There's our Rey & Nephew!

Our shot cups!

We get Mickey D's, and head over to Eatons to do our shots. We decide to stay on the ground level of Eatons (near Athlete's World) to get the job done, but on our way, we meet Pharoah the Mystic. He's a magician. Check out the video of him doing scary things to me in the next blog.

Anyway, so I let them know about the alcohol, and we drink (and we drank). Audrey, man, that girl's a trooper. She likes to have fun, like me :D. Here comes the "million pictures" part... so we take like five thousand pictures of ourselves doing nothing, and when we finally make it out of the photobooth, we head over to Hard Rock Cafe. We get in (for free I might add), and the pahty begins...

Starting a congo line = fun.

We did limbo with my scarf = fun.

Watching Audrey do limbo with my scarf = very fun - ny.

We took a picture with the DJ (who was spinning GREAT music) = fun.

We danced like idiots = always fun.

I bunmped my head on a pole = very fun - ny.

Jess and I watched Audrey dance with guys = very fucking fun - ny.

Jess and I watched Audrey vomit on the train in a gap plastic bag = very "aww", but equally fun - ny (no pictures included, because that would be rude).

Now, some of us didn't realize we had work at 8a the next morning. So my drunk ass went home at 2am, woke up for 6:30am, left for 7am, got to work early at 7:45am, waited till 8am for my manager to get to work, and had to clean the store for my shift with a retarded broom. I felt like a retard, but after I made myself acquainted with the Gap washroom sink (as I said before I think), I was fine. Or at least, better... yeah., so after that morning, my drinking days were over. And I thus only enjoyed 2 drinking days (with the exception of Friday night, which was practically nothing, which you'll hear about soon).

We partied HARD CORE MENG.

OH, and when I got home from work, I got cramps!!! And I usually take a Tylenol, but I couldn't because it would explode my liver, so I lived through the pain, it was horrible.

If you can hold a fork...

... finish it

... lol, I'm not finishing it because that'll be an insult unto myself, and that's just not cool.

To get on with the my main points here, I sent in a form to my school so that I would be able to pick my courses and attend classes for the upcoming 2009/2010 year, only to be approved for the remaining shitty courses that are left.

Ok, not that they're shitty, but in truth, the majourity of courses I want are all FULL.

Almost every single one of them. So I have 2 hours (up until 3pm) to make a schedule that isn't too crappy, with courses that don't need me to spend $500 for their books, AND are relatable to my future career endeavors.

Sound challenging?

Trust me, with the many courses available at York, it is.

p.s. On top of that, I heard on the ttc yesterday that there might be a strike this year! Splended.

Apology to the Fans

I'm so sorry guys. I know you look forward to reading my blogs, and lately, I've had some really interesting things happen to me, very blog worthy things. I've even taken pictures to document!

But tonight, I'm fucking tired bro. Serioiusly. I got home from work at 12am, and I ate 2 COOKIES ALL DAY, that Tricia made. They were awsome as always by the way. Girl can backe, and when we back together, oooowwwwiieeee", some serious shit (check to the Velvet Cupcake blog to see just how hot our baking is!).

So on that note, I will blog probably about 4 times at least tomorrow on a bunch of shit that's happened in the last 3 days or so. Many things have happenned, trust me. Look forward to it!

Your girl,

The Coolest Girl in the World.