Not in the happiest place, at the moment.
Nothing's wrong, in particular, just facing my insecurities -- they're making me want to run away to a place far from here, where there is nothing expected of me, but to be myself.
Feels like I'm putting on a head (face & hair) for everyone.
My friend tells me it's my people-pleasing problem. The most frustrating part is not knowing where it comes from... Or, maybe, I'm not accepting the deep crevice of truth.
It's not easy to just be you (not you, me). Or maybe my concept of freedom-of-self is too extreme. It's not like I want to run around downtown naked.
It just feels as though I have to work twice as much harder than everyone else to be eligible for acceptance. And yet, these tiny ego-demons are what keep myself (and so many, many others) from being great.
"Fear is stronger than hope, but hope always wins." - Arthur from the show Camelot.
He said that yesterday (when I was watching the episode on my laptop).
I think I need to be a soul-dier and fight through these minuscule fears I have. I'll be singing some "All These Things That I've Done," by The Killers.
