HAPPY HALL-oween everyone...

Oh, how excited I was to finally be carrying out my highly anticipated Halloween plans this year. The FCAR Halloween Costume Party, then later on that same night, the Shuffle Costume Party, and then Screamers with Mvb the next night (SOMETHING I should mention I've been looking forward to for YEARS). And in the midst of my excitement, out pops a... COLD SORE.

I could show you a picture, however, I detest cold sores and wouldn't have ANY reason to reminisce in the future (I've shown you worse - referencing back to the could have been the next MJ bit), especially given what it has done to my HALLOWEEN. That being said, I'll put a picture of a pumpkin instead.

But then I said to myself, hey, being black didn't stop Obama from becoming president! What the hell am I letting a little dry scab making the right side of my bottom lip stop me from enjoying what was supposed to be a wicked awesome Halloween weekend?!

...my night started with my make-up and ended with web cam pictures (which I've put them in the blog for your entertainment, I was in the process of becoming a dead doll). Here's the story.

I might be late for the FCAR Halloween party, but I won't be late for Shuffle? I call Trish, see if she's up for it, and obviously she is, however, she tells me Joseph is thinking about going to Frequency -- waaaaiittt just a minute. So you tell me you had an argument about him always going out with his friends, but he never goes out with you, then you guys both agree that he'll go to Shuffle with you, and now he's going to Frequency? Wtf? Moreover, she's like, "Oh, that's okay I don't care"... put a hold on your man's yo, actually no, figure out what the fuck you want, because while some of us are here putting on some serious makeup to go to Shuffle with you, some of you are still deciding whether you're going to choose to tag along behind your boyfriend or not (which we ALL knew was gonna happen in the end), which wastes some of our time when we could be sleeping or finding other people to salvage the rest of Halloween with.


I don't want to put too much blame on Trish, she did want to go, but she felt that things were disorganized (which I said in the beginning), and she was also tired, but obviously not too tired to go drinking with everyone at Burgundy's after (hahaha).

I'm sorry Trish, I don't mean to hate, it's just, you people know how important holidays are to me, and when people like Mvb don't call before they leave to a fun fancy Halloween party I was looking forward to going to after us people ask them to, they should know that us people are personally offended, seeing as it confirms that everyone is out to make life enjoyable for themselves only, while people like me try to include everyone in some way. Because you know, if you're having fun, who cares if I'm not. You don't have time to think about it, you're off to a fun party.

It's another Jessica Prak birthday all over again (BY THE WAY, I'll have you know that as much as you think that weekend was something I could just get over, think again. That was one of the worst weekends of my life. And to think, no one answered my calls for 2 days, no one responded to me on facebook, no one except Joseph. Can you believe that? haha).

Everyone's having fun but me, and no one cares. You'll make it up to me Patricia? How about next time, you don't waste MY time telling me you want to go somewhere, have me get ready, and then tell me your tired and it's disorganized. How about that? It's funny, because usually I don't have money when these events happen, and usually Patricia just throws it in my face, but I actually had money for ALL of these things, and I can't even do them.

Oh well, the night wasn't a complete waste anyway. I ate pizza with my moms, doing some karaoke (as I write), played some guitar, drinking some Vitamin Water, life is a ball in the park right now. Hopefully next year, I'll have some friends who won't cancel on me, and of course who'll remember to call me before they leave if I ask them to. My dream of going to Screamers with a BOY WILL happen. I don't care if it's next year, or in five years, it WILL happen. That's not Mvb's fault, the blame is purely on my cold sore.

HALLOWEEN FUCKING SUCKS.

MY COLD SORE FUCKING SUCKS.

MANY THINGS FUCKING SUCK.

Wow, I don't have time for this, I'm gonna go play Guitar Hero (alas, as much as I've been annoyed by this young girl, she's also been very cool about things. I'm not going to lie, I do like her. I do.)

The product of 1/2 an All Nighter.

After wasting--I mean, spending quality time with my dear baby boy Xander, I've finally gotten some work done... but that came after many events of which I'm too fatigued to list, thus leading us to a short and sweet (because I am) blog entry.

The End.

Wed, Sept 30th, 2009

2:00pm - Currently sitting in on an anatomy class while waiting for my psych 1010 to start. it's my first class of the day, which is pretty fucked seeing as I haven't been to one of my biology of sex lectures, and the sad part is that I have that lecture three times a week.

What's even more sad is that I skipped my 11:30am human geography class because I wanted to watch the TYRA SHOW! I'm starting to re-evaluate my bad habits. I believe that it was not a coincidence that I watched The Biggest Loser for the first time last night. It inspired me to inspire myself, even when you haven't got much to work for.

I believe that in order for me to cease these bad habits of mine, a few tasks need to be completed.

Here's a list of what I need to do:

1. I need to finish filling out my agenda; when I'm organized I feel an obligation to accomplish, and I feel guilty when I don't meet those obligations... and I don't like to feel guilty. Plus, as they say, you need to get the ideas down on paper first.
2. I need to join my schools gym; the routine of working out will be a challenge to maintain, but if I keep up the habit, it'll be easy for me to maintain the habit of going to my classes.
3. Change my availability at work... again. Three weekdays plus both days in the weekend are too much. As much as I think I can balance both, I really can't. At least without screwing my school up (ha).
4. I need to change my sleeping pattern. The things about that is that I st my alarm for the right time to wake up, and then I don't get up. most of the time, I'm just tires, or I feel I won't be able to get ready that quickly, like, at all. I don't even make the effort and just doze back to sleep!

In regards to number 4., I can say that it isn't the same case for work however. I set my alarm, and it doesn't matter if I have 2 seconds to get ready, I just do. That's because there are consequences, immediate consequences... not to mention that need money and Gap is my only means to it! I mean, I'm no desperato, like that girl on Melrose Place, of who's name I've forgotten, but you know, I need my cash right now bro! The question is, how can I manage to make myself feel the name need to go to my classes that I feel when I go to work?

Realistically, I have equal if not more of a reason to go to my classes, seeing as the money I'm making from Gap is going directly to them! AND I need to pass those classes with high marks so that I can get my degree, so that I can get into a career that I want to be in! It's scary, but Melrose Place is kind of stressing me out to tel you the truth; it's so real life (still plot-filled for good television) and so in a place where I'll soon be. On a side note, none of these shows are relatable at the moment. One Tree Hill, Melrose Place, and 90210 are set in different life phases from myself. Gossip Girl people are too rich, and even though we're both in the same life phase, like I said, they're super rich! Chuck owns a chain of hotels for God's sake!

Maybe its for the rich kids to relate to.

And all of my other shows are too... unreal to be real. That means I can't draw on anything from any of my idol shows, which sucks! Anyway, I did, however, think of a way to make myself want to go to my classes. I'll just go!

Once I attend one of my classes, I'll feel a need to attend more regularly because I'll feel accepted in that class as a student. I'd feel as though I'm a part of something. Once I start seeing more good results, like my lab mark, I'll want to go more.

This is what I wrote a while ago. Things are different now; I go to my classes (with the exception of ADMS, but that'll change next week), I don't work as often (actually, I haven't worked for the week - Janice is a bitch, I'll prove that later on tonight when I get my schedule for next week.), and although I haven't signed up in my gym yet, I plan to next week. At least I'm playing volleyball!

For the Record...

Let me just get something clear: I can't spell, nor can I speak proper English.
I have yet to be exposed to English grammar and will thus continue to make unconscious mistakes in the future of my writing.
Please keep that thought close to your temporal lobe, as you read my blogs and giggle while caressing your trembling tummies at my endless errors.
Much thanks.

Witness, The Struggle.

Jesus Christ Kemmy, stop reading your old blogs, writing tweets, playing guitar, eating food, watching television, and stalking people on facebook, damn it!

Get your nose to the grind and finish what you started!

You only have 36 pages of Biology to go through, ONLY 36!!!

JUUUUST DOOOO IIIITTTT!!!

Hanging on by a thread, if anything?

That's what it feels like. That vulnerable need of desperation, I'm getting there.
'Please don't leave me' rattles like the old hinges of a rocking chair in my heavy head, already swollen with assumptions.
What to do without running smack dead into rejection?
How to say what must be said without paralleling those words with raw exposure?

... I'm not quite sure.

The Power of One

How amazing is it that in this day and age, we congregate together as a people, to create institutions to make this world a better place.

No doubt, it starts with one situation, leading to one thought, by one person. That person, fueled by the anger of injustice, creates a goal that the injustice be brought to the world's awareness. In tern, that determinism within that person leads them to a new goal: to change and impact the world.

I hope to help in evolving the world to a new mind state. Helping us reach a mental dimension of people so far away from where our mental dimension was so many years ago.

And look at the effort of all the people who have already carried out these challenges!

Craig Keilberger was 12 years old when he started! Just a child.

One day, I hope to follow in the footsteps of "that-guy-who's-name-I-forgot-who-started-Ebay-and-has-a-production-company-that-produced-many-movies-about-world-issues-such-as-The Kite Runner-and-An Inconvenient Truth"... anyway, I want to make lot's of money and use my money/power to invest in institutions that want to make a positive change in the world, like him. Make sense?

That's what I hope to do, but we'll see!

Love Affair... With Vitamin Water

As once had been a love affair with the Bourbon and I, as is the love affair I now have with Vitamin Water.

I'm aware that it functions with a noticeable difference to regular Pure Life water, and the extra $1.25 out of my wallet daily is of no stretch for better quality and more bodily satisfaction, but am I purchasing the marketing as opposed to the product itself?

I'm attracted by the colours for sure, and the cute little paragraphs introducing the vitamin water of choice on the rapping puts a smile on my early morning face, but by goodness, I think I'm going overboard buying 2 a day! I bought 3 from Sobey's yesterday, and 4 from Price Chopper today!

This all started when I bought my first Vitamin Water (orange flavoured), I bought it thinking it would revitalize me for work. The next day, I bought another one, this time in the dragonfruit flavour. That same day, while on a evening break from my shift, a co-worker of mine (Dave) took his orange flavoured Vitamin water out fo the fridge, and thus began a discussion about water and the body's liqiud nutrients. From that day on, all I did was drink Vitamin water.

I have noticed a difference in my body however... I've been peeing more. I'll tell you why. After that conversation, all I did was check to make sure I was drnking the right amount of water I needed for the day, up until this day. I'm down 250 more mL of water in my system, but I have about 3 hours before I go to bed, so it's no problem. Now, drinking Vitamin Water just gives that extra umph needed to get through my day without the stress of unhealthiness. Or better yet, I'd be going through my day knowing that I'm meeting the required vitamin intakes every human on Eart should be getting!

The Vitamin Water I'm obsessed with is the fruit punch one. It's called "restore", and that's basically what it does. It supposedly is made for individuals who are 18 or over because it's formulated with that much crap. It also says to drink no more than 2 a day, while the others say to drink no more than 4 a day. That screams out to me, "more nutrients!", so that would evidentaly be the one I would drink the most. The fruit punch flavour is pretty good too.

Now with that information aside, I think I'm going to continue drinking Vitamin Water, but I'll try to lesten it for sure, seeing as I shouldn't be wasting my money on things like this, when I could be wasting it on better things at better places, like a slot machine at the casino that might actually give me some revenue.

Then I'd have more money to waste on Vitamin Water!