Here you are, in the pinnacle prime of your youth, on cloud #9 with the love of your life. Things are getting serious between you and your significant other, and now, you're debating whether you should shack up together. The question is, is that a good idea?The majority of you reading this haven't (fortunately - a bit of foreshadowing for the rest to come) been... blessed with this opportunity as of yet, but think about it now.
Would you move in with a lover before marriage? Or, would you wait solely after things were official?
I asked a friend that question the other day, he promptly and calmly stated that it would be a given after marriage (ha), and would only wait till then. When I asked why he wouldn't move in before marriage, he brought up an important factor that most couples don't even consider - after all, they're floating high on cloud #9, remember? What if you broke-up?I, Personally, have not even considered the possibility of moving in with anyone - short of my husband, of course. However, the other day, I was lucky enough to live out the couple co-habitation scenario with a good friend of mine, and I was exposed to a sudden realization: You are LIVING with someone. You're not room mates, you are CO-HABITATING.
Think of it this way, every time you guys have sex, you've got to take a shower together, and every time you take a shower together, you've got to have sex in the shower... Well, it depends on the person, but my point is, there's a constant sense of obligation and attachment -- more security in your "love-filled" relationship, yes, but less independence as two separate entities. Your life becomes the sum of two lives in one. It becomes that serious.
They become your rock that keeps you grounded, your cave to get away from the world, your inspiration when you lack creativity, the shoulder you run to when you're upset, and your beacon of hope when your world is crumbling.
My advice to you is this: If you like to be clingy, are emotionally open, and love somebody being up your ass, do the whole moving in thing before marriage - it'll strengthen your commitment.If you happen to be -- well, me, whom values their independence more than the air they breath, wait till you're married. There's no reason your lover couldn't sleep over from time to time.
